I haven’t been an editor long, and I’m still learning the ropes. But I’ve had enough time to recognize the top 9 things that will turn me off a manuscript before I even get to it. Here is my list.
1) “I’m desperate to get this story published.” – This one annoys me. Every writer is desperate to be published, even those who have been published before (myself included). If I weren’t desperate to get published, I wouldn’t keep submitting manuscripts. Don’t mention this in a cover letter. It’s unprofessional and sloppy, and a sure sign of a writer who is either going to be a diva or sign a contract without reading it.
2) Cover letter apologies – Any writer that apologizes for poor formatting, spelling, punctuation, etc. knows something is wrong with his query. If it is obvious to the writer something is wrong, my gut reaction is “then why are you sending it to me without fixing it?” Don’t apologize in the initial contact. Be professional, make sure everything is spelled and formatted correctly, that the submission guidelines are being followed. An apology is tantamount to saying “I don’t care enough about this process to follow the rules, but I think any apology will let it slide through.” Not true. Not for me, anyway. This is almost a guarantee of an insta-reject.
3) Jokes in the cover letter – Unless the writer knows me very well (as in, we’ve met in person and have a lot of experiences together), I don’t want to read any jokes in the cover letter. This letter is like an employment resume. It should be professional and to the point. Written jokes do not come across as well as verbal jokes do, and are often misinterpreted as insulting.
4) “Of course” – A manuscript synopsis that uses the words “of course” has already made me suspicious. These two words indicate that I’m in on a joke or that I know better than the protagonist. Well, that would be great if I actually knew the rules of how the author’s world worked and whether or not vampires really could sparkle. The issue is that I don’t know any of this because I haven’t read any of it yet. The point of your synopsis is to draw the editor-as-reader into the world and give them a chance to learn the lay of the land by themselves. Don’t ever assume the editor is in on rules. Never use the words “of course” in a synopsis. There should never be an “of course” moment between editor and submitting writer.
5) “But this other editor said…” – I’m not a bartender, a hairdresser, or a priest. I don’t want to hear a confessional on what other editors rejected the story or why it was rejected. In fact, giving me this information is more likely to make me reject it also. It comes across as whining, and whiny authors just aren’t good for business. Cover letters are the first impressions of the publishing industry. A litany of complaints aren’t going to make any editor like the author in question.
6) The Lecture – Whether it’s the cover letter or the prologue, I don’t want writers lecturing me on the subject of the week. Writers are supposed to entertain readers. I’m a reader and I really want to be entertained. I do not want to spend 2 pages reading a “I know more about Subject Y than you do and here’s why you’re wrong” lecture from someone I’ve never met. This type of writing does not make me want to offer a contract up for it.
7) Insulting other publishers / editors – Publishing is a small industry. Editors move from house to house, imprint to imprint. The biggest mistake an author can make is to trash-talk another publisher or editor in a cover letter to a new publisher / editor. I grant that there are bad publishers (different from scam publishers), and there are bad editors. That does not excuse the trash-talk. The trashed editor may just be the one to receive the letter (due to a change in jobs) or is related to / friends with the editor who did receive the letter. The editor may have worked for the publisher in the past and have strong ties with the staff still there. The point is, writers never know who will read their letters.
8) Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation – I’m used to people spelling my name wrong. Even people who have known me for years do it on occasion. It annoys me, but it’s not the dealbreaker. When the writer doesn’t even know how to use a dictionary, though, that gets my goat. Chicago Manual of Style is available online, as are various incarnations of free dictionaries and thesauruses. Tons of lit majors have blogged tips about business letter writing, proper formatting, and how to use the semi-colon. The resources are out there, discoverable by search engines aplenty. They should be used.
9) “It’s on my blog” – Any writer who publishes their manuscript on their blog (or website) and then invites me to go out to see it is a sure-fire rejection for me. I work for a publisher in which exclusive rights are very important. Manuscripts published on blogs tend to live forever on the internet, even if the blog posts are removed. Which means that I can’t contract exclusive rights for 5 years because readers can get the manuscript for free. Now, if an established name like Eric Flint or Mercedes Lackey or Phil and Kaja Foglio came to me and said it was published on their website but I could have the ebook rights, I might change my mind. But note that these are established writers and they have a following that would pay for the book in addition to reading it on the website. A majority of writers cannot claim to have that sort of following.
In conclusion, cover letters are the one chance a writer has to make or break her reputation. Different editors look for different things in a cover letter. For my part, I just ask that writers remain polite, professional, and focused on the subject at hand: the submission.
P.S. – I just want to remind everyone that I’m giving away a gift certificate in a random drawing to anyone who comments on my blog during the month of August. Details can be found at my Random Blog Contest post.
5 Responses
Do you see the “of course” rule as an absolute? I’m thinking, of course, (sorry, couldn’t resist) of situations where a character has strayed well into territory where the outcome should be obvious to any normal human being, particularly in humorous writing. e.g. “Jonah decides that his best course of action is to fling grapefruits at the alien ambassador, which, of course, does not get the negotiations started off on the best foot.”
I’m the sort who tends to use that particular phrase to underscore absurdity more than to highlight inevitability.
Most of it boils down to “don’t insult the editor.”
To me, the “of course” rule is an absolute. Different editors might have different takes. Cover letters should never assume what I do and don’t know. A synopsis should be a factual breakdown of the story, unadorned by “of course”s and other qualifiers. Only the prose itself should be qualified by such things and if there are too many qualifiers, then it makes me feel like a stupid reader.
FYI: I don’t like it when authors tell me I’m a stupid reader, even if that’s not what they actually meant to say.
Think of it this way. I want stories that surprise me as well as entertain me. The author should not have to hit me in the head with a Clue Stick to make a point, and if she does, then that tells me the author does not have any confidence in what in what she wrote.
Does that make sense?
Amen, Sister! @=)
Yes, and thanks for your insights!