This is a story about one writer's emotional journey(s) through the writing process. All names have been changed to protect the author, and no editors have been harmed in the writing of this blog. Mostly.
Definitions: <event> –Internal writer dialogue that was never actually spoken to a living soul–
<the story idea> –Wow, this is the best idea ever. I'm going to win a Nebula, no, I'm going to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Everyone will know my name and my face. I am the next Stephen King / Neil Gaiman / George R.R. Martin, only, like, you know, female. I can't wait to get this finished–
<the writing process> –Tired. Need sleep. Must clean house. Oh, time for lunch. I don't want to write. Why did I agree to this in the first place? I've got more important things to do and if I write the really cool fight scene wandering around in my head, I won't be able to use it for my next story. Where's the cat? I need to do some waxing.–
<the writing process, still> –Dammit! Why isn't this story done yet? I know how it ends. Can't I just sell it like it is, without, you know, finishing it first? I don't wanna write… @whine. Oh, wait. I just figured out how to do Cool Thing X. This is fantastic! Go away, people. You're bothering me. I'm trying to write.–
<first draft done, beta readers swarm> –Here. Look at my story. Tell me how brilliant I am. I will tell you I want an honest critique, but the truth is, I'm just looking out for my ego. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE MY VILLAIN? Stupid beta readers. Wouldn't know a good story if it hit them upside the head… Oh, please stop fixing my grammar and punctuation. I like that sentence, dammit! It's POETRY… Oh, wait. I see your point. Hang on.–
<fix,fix,fix. edit,edit,edit. write,write,write.> –Finished! Fantast… Damn. Misspelled a word, or three. Why is that character doing B when he should be on another planet?– <fix, fix, fix. edit, edit, edit. write, write, write> –Oh, Beta Readers… Whatcha doin'? Got time to give this another read through?–
<initial drafts and edits finished.> –My BEST WORK EVAH! Time to fling this puppy off to some publishers and have them knocking down my door in their need to have The Great American Novel (in 5000 words or less).–
<fling, fling, fling, fling, fling, fling> –Hold on. Is that a rejection? Stupid, moronic people. How dare you diss my work. It is financial gold. It is a treatise on the state of the human condition. It is the next Oprah Book Club thingy. These people can't be editors. How could they not recognize how fantastic this is? Well, I will just have to prove them wrong by finding another place to publish it. THEN they'll be sorry.– <fling, fling, fling>
<more rejections> –Why doesn't anyone like my story? Surely, it's not that bad? Wait. It's not the story. It's me. I'm a lousy writer. I'm a horrible person. This is penance for That Bad Thing I did as a kid. Everyone hates me. Why doesn't anyone want to read my work?– <much sobbing, depression sets in, writer hides away in a closet>
<the work is accepted> –Oh, Glory Days! There is a deity/Greater Power. I am vindicated! Take that!, all you editors who rejected me. Oh, you'll see now. This story is Going Places. I'll be famous.–
<the work sells, sort of> –Why isn't anyone buying my published-by-small-press-never-heard-of-by-most-people story? Don't they like me? They don't even know me. How can they hate me already?–
<INTERLUDE – after the glow of "published" wears off, the writer dusts off all her old stories and starts re-reading them for inspiration> — Oh … My … God… Who wrote this crap? And how did it get my name on it? Seriously? I convinced someone to publish this pile of … Oh, this is bad. This one too. That one doesn't even bear thinking about. How did it get into print? What editor in his right mind agreed that was good enough for print? I am so mortified. I will never be able to show my face in public again!–
<at about the 15th or so story> –Oh, hey, that story is actually pretty good.–
<after that> –crap story, another crap story. Come on. I have to have more than one good published story. Right?–
<after dinner and a drink> –Oh, I have this great idea for a sequel!! Best Story EVAH!– <repeat process>
