According to Yahoo!, and several other news outlets, rejection really does hurt. Physically, that is.
Professor Ethan Kross, University of Michigan, Edward Smith, Columbia University, and unnamed colleagues conducted a study to map the portions of the brain activated by rejection. In their study, they researched emotional pain versus physical pain, but they only used candidates who’d experienced romantic rejection for the emotional part of the test. Still, the results indicated there is serious overlap between the brain’s physical pain center and the emotional source of distress.
I find this article fascinating because writers often talk about the sting of rejection. How it hurts so much when our stories are turned down. We have rejectomancy down to an art form: Why did they rejected it? What does the form letter mean? Am I a horrible writer? etc. There is no end to the hurt feelings that can accompany a story rejection. But now, there’s proof positive (if you want to spin the study this way) that we’re not just feeling sorry for ourselves.
Because we’re not. We are experiencing physical, pain when our stories get rejected.
Yes, boys and girls, the pain is real. I know some authors (famous ones, even) have delved into drug abuse or suicide to solve the problem. Is it any wonder, given the results of this study? But I don’t think either option is a valid solution. It is a mark of our character and our strength to see how we deal with the pain of rejection. There is no one solution. This journey is personal to each individual author.
Is this an excuse to stop writing? Absolutely not. Is this an excuse to delve into rejectomancy? Definitely not. But it gives a little insight into the depression, the angst, and the doldrums that accompany that little "I don’t want your story" slip. And it explains why, on the day that I received 2 rejections and 1 acceptance (after the rejections), I just couldn’t get to the "Yippie, SnoopyDance" moment until two days later.
What do I do? I wallow a bit, hide in the house, then climb back on that horse. I may not be the next Robert Jordan, Brian Sanderson, or Stephen King, but I am getting some small pieces published. And each time I get that rejection slip, remembering that someone else liked my work helps me get past the pain.
2 Responses
Try treating rejection slips as badges of honor. Seriously. If you successfully reframe it – by which I mean, yes, “succeed in fooling yourself” – it draws much of the sting.
Defiance trumps despair.
And good for you. Getting back on the horse, however you bring yourself to do it, is the right answer. Enduring the sting of rejection, then putting yourself out there to get stung again, and again, and again, is one of the main things that separate a real writer from a perpetual wannabe (which I doubt you are despite the Twitter handle.)
Simple, brute perseverance is the greatest single predictor, and necessary ingredient, of success in anything you do in life. Writing sure isn’t the exception.
Iâve been into blogging for quite some time and this is definitely a great post.Cheers!